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Image from http://www.psdgraphics.com/

In the last post I started exploring the idea of getting others to help with your career development before diverting into a post about how to say no. To return to my initial theme, what are the questions we should have in mind if we are to convince someone to invest some time in our development?  

As an illustration, at a recent Ingenious Women networking event a PhD student approached me and asked what she should do about an email she’d sent to someone in her field who hadn’t replied. She knew this person was very busy, so was nervous about following up. This resonated with me as I regularly get asked for advice or help. Sometimes I reply to these emails quickly and easily and sometimes I just never get around to it. And sometimes…I don’t feel at all inclined to help.

So here is MY take on what makes it more likely for me to reply. Bear in mind that these are my “buttons” – you may react to different styles of approach.

  1. Ask very clear and specific questions that are easy for me to answer. Ideally one question.
  2. Demonstrate that you are a person who is proactive and has done everything they can to answer this question for themselves. If I can get the answer from Google in 15 seconds you’ve just wasted the opportunity to ask me something that isn’t at the end of a search engine. 
  3. Explain why you think my knowledge is so valuable to you indicating that you’ve done a bit of homework into me and my background.
  4. Acknowledge that I’m busy and indicate how much of a commitment you need from me.
  5. Indicate when you will follow up or where we might have a chance to meet. (But don’t make it sound like stalking.)
  6. Thank me if I can help, show understanding if I can’t.  

Unsurprisingly there are a number of blogs on this theme (for some reason the advice on “The Art of Manliness” one didn’t really speak to me, but could be just your thing) . I liked https://psychologyforphotographers.com/how-to-request- something-from-a-busy-person-and-get-a-reply which includes the line

Would you ever walk up to a well-dressed stranger on the street and say “Hey, you look great! Can I have $20?”

 I imagine not, but we often treat other people’s time with this breezy disregard then mutter with dismay when they choose not to hand over their precious minutes.

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